Old Spice aftershave - A personal review

Introduced by Proctor and Gamble in 1837, Old Spice has been making women go weak at the knees for generations. Its opening notes at first appear to be pure florality, but that initial impression is premature, as the floral notes are submerged beneath an intoxicating amalgam of oakmoss, musk, vanilla, amber, carnation and orris root. Indeed, I was quite unprepared for the overpowering scents of musk and orris root, and was left questioning my wisdom in donning such a potent cologne before the midnight hour. Wearing it in the local bookmakers I noticed both teenage girls from council estates and baronesses alike, swooning with hormonal weakness for the distinctive soft wood accord of the drydown; the musky notes making them almost bathetic, helpless, intoxicated. The tertiary phase of this potent pheromonical compound appears exotic, almost Eastern, suggesting late nights on Thai jetties, or Siamese adventures in Leyton Orient. Famous wearers of Old Spice include Albert Einstein, Dave Lee Travis, Mao Tse-Tung, 7/8 of Showaddywaddy and Margaret Thatcher.

Steve Bruce in bad advert shocker

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but the gentleman playing Lenny Henry's agent in the recent Premier Inn advert appears to be Wigan Athletic manager Steve Bruce, adopting a fake cockney accent:

















As for the advert itself, it surely must rank as a masterpiece of comedy acting by Lenny Henry - his greatest moment on British television since sticking a custard pie in Steve Davis's face on Tiswas in 1981.

Top-selling Lads Mag hits Bloggobbledegook

Ecologically aware footballer No.1

Bellamy, one of the true gentlemen of the game, pictured during his time at Blackburn Rovers, before going on to delight the fans of Newcastle, Celtic and now Liverpool with his well-known modesty and incomparable knowledge of botany.

The ultimate nightmare is back:

Certificate 18

Booootiful!

I was shocked to hear of the bird-flu epidemic on Bernard Manning's Suffolk turkey farm. Pictured here we see the renowned animal-lover, tending to one of his sick birds.

"More morphine sir?"

After a slip on an Arctic-esque Sunderland pavement yesterday morning, your esteemed Blogmaster has broken his right humerus bone (upper-arm) and therefore cannot properly type, let alone create his 'hilarious' cut-and-paste photo montages! As such, regular readers may notice that this blog is scarcely updated in the next three months or so. Until normal service can be resumed, please enjoy some pages from Ceefax.

Hero of The Kop

Radio 4's 'Book of The Week'

The Perfect Christmas Gift

Ashley Cole and Pete Waterman star in Series 7 of this classic Thames Television comedy drama.

Classic funk single from 1970 re-released

And also, a welcome re-release for a legendary LP:

Bureau des Etrangers, Outlandos d'amour, Jeux Sans Frontières

Jean-Paul Nettles stars as Jersey's favourite big-nosed alcoholic cop, always just failing to arrest the villain thanks to his implausibly large hooter.

The Hitman and Her

Coming soon to an Essex nightclub near you . . .

"The Hitman and Her"

Featuring Dennis Waterman, Gordon Strachan and lots of drunk people from Essex.

Frank Dobson MP unveiled as the new Captain Birdseye

Das television in eine Deutschland

Am Samstag: Doktor Wer

"Lord Nelson, Sir Winston Churchill, Lady Diana, Bruce Forsyth. Bruce Forsyth, can your hear me? Your boys took one helluva beating"

Paul McQuillan is The Mona Lisa

"My other car is a talking Austin Maestro"

The Best Cars Ever - Episode II

The Ford Capri

Before becoming American Vice President in 1973, Gerald Ford had only one obsession, stated most clearly in a 1968 speech to the House of Representatives in which he declared,

"We must strive, at all costs, to give the working classes of Great Britain an affordable sports coupe."

To this end, Ford approached young actor and stylist Richard Ghia, with a view to creating 'the working man's Ferrari'. The result was unveiled to stunned onlookers at the 1969 Hull Motor Show.














The Capri was a revelation. For little more than the cost of a Hillman Imp, the Great British youth could now afford a car which could easily out-perform Porsches, Lancias and even (sometimes) Vauxhall Vivas. On a 1971 edition of BBC2's Top Gear Lord Lucan achieved a speed of 181 mph in a Capri 3.0i on the M1, going from 0-60 in 4 seconds in a test-start on the hard-shoulder just approaching Loughborough Services (an area later made famous by Gillian Taylforth and Michael Knight).

Throughout the 70s and early 80s the Capri was the car to have for sports-minded Britons, and among its owners were Benny Hill (later a charismatic TV evangelist), Sid James, The Queen Mother and Cardinal Cormack Murphy O'Connor.

Growing up during these years I dearly longed for my dad to get a Capri, and eventually he did, albeit well into the 1980s. It was worth the wait however - it was a Ghia (all top-of-the-range Fords were styled by US actor, Richard Ghia). I vividly recall my dad doing 210mph in our Capri one Sunday morning, on a quiet B-Road. It was nearly as fast as our Austin Maxi had been, and looked so much better. Here's our Capri on our front drive in a photo taken in 1986:
















As the pressures of his position as Vice-President (and later President) of America, began to take its toll on Ford, his cars became somewhat less adventurous. The Escort and the Fiesta (named after his two favourite magazines) certainly failed to excite this writer.

Ted Rogers in the 25th Century

"Tarmac: That could signify the tarmac on an airport runway, suggesting a holiday. Or it could refer to the tarmac on a road, on which a brand new car would drive. But dustbin vans also drive on tarmac roads . . . . . . "


Meanwhile, in the world of the wireless . .





This Saturday featuring an exclusive session from Sharon And The Family Stone.