Sunday, January 10, 2010

Old Spice aftershave - A personal review

Introduced by Proctor and Gamble in 1837, Old Spice has been making women go weak at the knees for generations. Its opening notes at first appear to be pure florality, but that initial impression is premature, as the floral notes are submerged beneath an intoxicating amalgam of oakmoss, musk, vanilla, amber, carnation and orris root. Indeed, I was quite unprepared for the overpowering scents of musk and orris root, and was left questioning my wisdom in donning such a potent cologne before the midnight hour. Wearing it in the local bookmakers I noticed both teenage girls from council estates and baronesses alike, swooning with hormonal weakness for the distinctive soft wood accord of the drydown; the musky notes making them almost bathetic, helpless, intoxicated. The tertiary phase of this potent pheromonical compound appears exotic, almost Eastern, suggesting late nights on Thai jetties, or Siamese adventures in Leyton Orient. Famous wearers of Old Spice include Albert Einstein, Dave Lee Travis, Mao Tse-Tung, 7/8 of Showaddywaddy and Margaret Thatcher.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Steve Bruce in bad advert shocker

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but the gentleman playing Lenny Henry's agent in the recent Premier Inn advert appears to be Wigan Athletic manager Steve Bruce, adopting a fake cockney accent:

As for the advert itself, it surely must rank as a masterpiece of comedy acting by Lenny Henry - his greatest moment on British television since sticking a custard pie in Steve Davis's face on Tiswas in 1981.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Top-selling Lads Mag hits Bloggobbledegook

Ecologically aware footballer No.1

Bellamy, one of the true gentlemen of the game, pictured during his time at Blackburn Rovers, before going on to delight the fans of Newcastle, Celtic and now Liverpool with his well-known modesty and incomparable knowledge of botany.

The ultimate nightmare is back:

Friday, March 30, 2007

Certificate 18

Monday, February 05, 2007


I was shocked to hear of the bird-flu epidemic on Bernard Manning's Suffolk turkey farm. Pictured here we see the renowned animal-lover, tending to one of his sick birds.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

"More morphine sir?"

After a slip on an Arctic-esque Sunderland pavement yesterday morning, your esteemed Blogmaster has broken his right humerus bone (upper-arm) and therefore cannot properly type, let alone create his 'hilarious' cut-and-paste photo montages! As such, regular readers may notice that this blog is scarcely updated in the next three months or so. Until normal service can be resumed, please enjoy some pages from Ceefax.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Hero of The Kop

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