Friday, February 24, 2006

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Hello John Toshack - Got a Toshiba?

That LP cover; featuring Liverpool's most famous export alongside The Beatles and some woman who used to be on Blue Peter.

Frankie Dettori's waiting - Talking Italian.

Coming soon to a cinema near you:

King Kong II (PG)

Pete Sampras, Cliff Thorburn, Yvette Fielding, Ian St John, Mike Morris, Chris Kamara, Shakin' Stevens, and introducing - Wincey Willis.

Dolby B Noise Reduction (in selected theatres)

Today in 1999: Prince Edward married Griff Rhys-Jones.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Get Up (I Feel Like Being A) Fax Machine

Tom O'Connor Visita El Planeta De Los Simios

After many long years of Ant and Dec, celebrity ice-dancing and glorified karaoke competitions, it is very pleasing to read in this week's TV Times that this weekend sees the return of some real entertainment to ITV's Saturday evening schedule:

Friday, February 17, 2006

We've had a lovely day Jim. I think we'll give the other lads a chance.

Fond memories of the old One Pound Note. Here we see the final issue, which featured Brian May on one side*. Note that May's interest in astronomy is demonstrated by the presence of a telescope on his bench, along with a Toblerone, for those moments when one craves triangular confectionary.

* The other side of the note featured the complete Queen, of course. Nice earrings ma'am.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Ode to Psycho (John Keats, 1819)

Is Derek Acorah a real name or merely an anagram? It looks like a Countdown Conundrum to me: D E R E K A C O R A H

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

We're the Sweeney son, and we haven't had any dinner.

I wonder if bird-flu is the female version of man-flu?

Today in 1982: Larry Hagman opened Dallas Carpets, at Portrack Lane, Stockton.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

p-p-p-p- Pick up a Wagon Wheel

Incredible news: There's a sale on at DFS.

Today in 1982: Paul Gascoigne presented University Challenge.

Friday, February 10, 2006

There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis Costello

Ja. Das ist Wunderbra.

Betty Turpin - Highwaywoman; Harry Secombe - Highway Man; Chris Waddle - Haway Man

It was not until 1978, with the aid of the Hubble Space Telescope, that Sir Roger Moore was able to properly observe the constellation of John Virgo. The green baize pundit could clearly be seen, performing side-splitting impressions of Ray Reardon and Silvino Francisco.

Tony Blackburn vs Eric Morecambe
The winner will play Billy Preston in the All-Lancashire Final

Ringo Starr ate my hamster

Warning: This Blog may contain traces of Terry Nutkins

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Dr Pepper: Only Tarts Love Cans.

Been to town today and bought two interesting-looking books:

The Daily Record's Book of Guinness

The Recipes of the Early Dessert Monks: Volume One - Cakes and Trifles.

Today in 1980: Rock band The Who shot J.R. Ewing.

I'll have the Vegetable Rogan Josh with Anneka Rice please.

Today in 1974: Mohammed Al-Fayed defeated George Formby in the Rhumba in the Jungle. Stung by this defeat, Formby retired from dancing for 20 years, to concentrate on his window-cleaning business. In 1994 he astounded the world by making a comeback and becoming the oldest man to win the World Dancing Championship (at the age of 84) as well as inventing an innovative grill.

Today in 2001: I started my Christmas shopping, in a radical attempt to avoid the crowds in December.

Today in 1968: Otis Redding released the prophetic, "Staring at the Stock of Ebay".

Today in 1985: Steve Davis became the first ginger person to be awarded an MBE. Several members of the establishment were outraged at this. Amongst those who returned their MBEs in disgust were Geoffrey Boycott and Tommy Cannon. Thankfully we have come a long way since then and red-heads are no longer expected to give up their seats on buses for others etc. Whether we shall ever see a ginger Prime Minister in our lifetime is a moot point however.

I wonder whatever happened to Tupperware?

It is not commonly known that Europe's ghastly 1980s 'rock anthem', The Final Countdown was written in response to a rumour that Channel 4 were planning to axe flagship afternoon gameshow Countdown. The rumours thankfully proved to be unfounded, and were thought to have emanated from Carol Vorderman's jealous stunt-double.

Up until 1971, Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture was known as the 6:12pm Overture. Critics are generally agreed that the finest recording of the work appears on the Deutsche Grammophon boxed-set: The Herbert von Karajan of Love.

Here endeth the first lesson. Tea will now be served in the vestry.

Kant Buy Me Love

The time is 01:17. On a Wednesday night: Rock 'n' Roll!

I must sadly inform my army of fan that I have nothing amusing to say this evening. My comedy inspiration is running low.

Karl Marx & Frank Spencer - unsurpassed in the fields of underwear and overpriced ready meals.

That's as good as I can do at this time of night!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Old Spice - Mature Saffron

During the winter months it is often possible to go skating on Rikki Lake.

Frank Butcher
Cheryl Baker
Sir John Candlestick-Maker OBE

Saturday, February 04, 2006

It's Wacaday, no school today, here's what you're going to do.

Um Bongo, Um Bongo, they drink it in the Democratic Republic of Zaire.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Mum's gone to Iceland: A weekend break in Reykjavik.

Idea for a new ITV television programme:

'The XY Factor': Ant and Dec present a 12-part documentary on chromosomes.

McQuillan's TV Memories: An occasional Blog interlude.

As a child, like most boys, I used to look forward to Match of The Day on a Saturday evening. I can still remember my youthful astonishment at one edition during the 1982-83 season, when Trevor Brooking donned walking-boots and attempted to scale the heights of Jimmy Hill.

Later, in my teens, one of my favourite programmes was Star Trek: The Next Generation, starring Jackie Stewart. I will never forget that terrifying episode in which Captain Picard was assimilated by Bjorn Borg.

Today in 1964: Robbie Coltrane recorded A Love Supreme.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

"And now, from Norwich, it's the show of the week."

My mate, Bovril.

Today in 1983: Julie Goodyear patented the pneumatic tyre.

Today in 1984: Frederick Forsyth presented Play Your Cards Right

That's all today folks. The Milky Bars are on me!


Site Meter